For the Love of Art
Let’s face it: when you answer the “What do you want to do with your life?” question with something arts-y, people roll their eyes. They tell you to get your head out of the clouds. Only “really lucky” people manage to get anywhere in such fields. They ask what your back-up plan is.
o.O Back-up plan? What’s that?
I am what I am, and that won’t change to fit anyone else’s standards. I hold no unrealistic expectations about life as a writer. It’s a tough path that takes a lot of time and energy to pave into a gentle road. Most of us encounter road-blocks, but those who appreciate such challenges tread onward. Not because we enjoy rejections and failures, but because the expressive freedom art presents is too appealing to ignore. Those “failures” are stepping stones whence to learn and grow.
My exasperations arise when people ridicule my art, albeit unintentionally. Try to convince me it’s “not enough,” and I therefore must have something else in mind for a career.
Hello? I’m 23!
Sixteen years in academia doesn’t automatically mean I know exactly where I’m going and how I’ll get there. It means I’m equipped and ready to handle the journey as I seek my place in it. I don’t know what I want to do, except write. Something. Anything. Doesn’t matter what because it’s the creative process that excites me. Yet I know too many people who argue writing isn’t “useful” enough.
Useful? Writing is one of the most useful things in our society! Few do it well, which makes it a rare treasure.
I’m a dreamer. I have goals. Ambitions. A bucket list that stretches kilometres. Granted, they’ve evolved since I was eight-years-old, as they’re wont to do. That doesn’t justify I stop the chase. “Own Your Ambition” highlights this point with elegance. We all hold different values. Definitions for success and ambitions are as diverse as people. And some of us are determined enough to do whatever it takes for the love of art. It’s just another way to collect ideas/experiences along the way.
Bruce Lee says: “A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often simply serves as something to aim at.” Goals give us purpose. Guides, steering us through the journey of life in an educational and [hopefully] enjoyable way. Large or small matters not. It’s about balance. Serenity. Owning who we are.
What do I want to do with my life? Enjoy it!
Never Say ‘Never’
All it takes to achieve the impossible is determination and a positive attitude.
Here ends this week’s dose of expert advice, brought to you by the proud survivor of Script Frenzy 2010. That’s right, with four short hours to spare, I crossed the finish line and got to sleep early.
There are still several scenes that need to be added before revisions start, but I’m taking a [short] vacation from PRODIGY to get back to a few projects that were placed on hold for April. The end result is a proud one, though, because this story has found its rightful place in Script after several failed attempts to write it as both Novel and Short Story. It really is more of a visual story anyway, and the musical elements make it a better match where aural elements can be expressed.
Confession: Screnzy was a stressful and difficult pursuit. The beautiful weather made me choose my Bantam bicycle loop over sitting inside in front of a computer. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. Sunny skies just always trump rotting inside. The problem is when said decisions hinder the progress of a writer.
It did cross my mind to give up on the venture, fail to achieve a goal set as a way to keep myself out of Lazy-ville and make sure I write every day, as a writer should. Anyhoot, only crazy people attempt to write a 100-page script in 30 days! …though that makes stronger the argument to quit; a way to prove my sanity?
Nah. I enjoy the crazy life too much! Bettina‘s influence and nagging reminded me of my desire to delve further into screenwriting. She also reminded me several times that failing Screnzy after two consecutive NaNo wins was absolutely unacceptable. Once you raise the stakes and succeed, it’s very difficult to take a step back, even temporarily.
But that’s what gives me the motivational push to continue and exceed what I’ve already achieved. Each step is a lesson. A reminder that it is possible to balance life with my source of oxygen (i.e. writing). It’s a reminder we all need when faced with the stress life delivers while attempting a career as a writer.
Next challenge: surviving Screnzy withdrawal. It’s as strong and demanding as NaNo withdrawal, but I’m sure I can channel it into Weekend Funeral and these poem tweaks.
Crash/Burn…And All That Jazz
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Those who construct language (aka writers such as myself) heed this warning well. After all, cliches are unoriginal. Overused. Exaggerated at times. There are occasions, however, when I agree with Mrs. Who that quoting the wisdom of others is the best way to express something otherwise “too difficult to verbalise” myself.
The weekend presented me with many rejections. Opportunities that I’ve patiently waited weeks to hear back from, only to crash-and-burn when follow-up conversations brought sour news. Why do I continuously set myself up for such disappointment? I’ve grown used to the concept over my life (it’s been my middle name for so long). Why not accept failure now while hope has been kicked to the ground? Take the “easy street” and accept as my home the pathetic pit whence there’s no escape.
Perseverence. Indomitability. Big words to describe a simple state of stubbornness. The inability to give up because allowing failure to define the self contradicts the personality lingering inside. I like to see it as martial arts invading my life, enriching it by dissuading defeat.
Regardless of the determination that’s developed in me over the years, I can’t help but cave to momentary bouts of discouragement from this Dense Fog. Many people offer kind words. Few actually add fuel to the fire (unintentional cliche usage). Neither aids my emotions during these times, which often reflects poorly on my attitude, pulling me deeper into the shadows.
Thankfully the years have also taught me how to rise up from the flames. Several methods cause that brief loss of hope to drain from my blood: quotes from people I admire, sparring/exercise, forcing productivity.
The best way to drag myself out of a slump is to work through that slump. Okay, so I’ve been rejected. I give myself a moment to cry, then tackle the fifteen other applications on my list. I’m still frustrated by the lack of visible progress, but look! the frustration made the pile of others disappear.
I’m behind the rest, but I’m still in the game. Still fighting for survival and waiting for that fight to pay off.
While all manner of quotes continue to lift my spirits, I rely on one specifically these days: “People told me, when I was coming through the ranks, that a mark of a great [actor] is one who deals with the period of unemployment as well as they deal with the period of employment.” (Claudia Black) Wisdomous words! Though they speak of actors, I see it as a reflective statement for all artists, including writers.
Why waste time being negative? There’s always that lapse, that bout of pity that rushes through the veins, but it’s in the act of returning to my feet with my head held high that proves I’m the worthy victor.
Rather than moping around, I choose to take advantage of not having a career (for the moment). Lots of free time and plenty to do. Staying busy keeps me focused on my goals.
Writing is a time-consuming process. If I wish to succeed, I must wake up every day with the intention of getting something accomplished. One word, one sentence, one paragraph. Doesn’t matter as long as it’s something. Writing cover letters for jobs, e-mails to friends, forum messages, status updates. Doesn’t matter, as long as my fingers type and words appear. Brain spins, mind turns.
Exercise. As a martial artist, getting in shape and staying in shape is crucial to performance. It’s also one of my 2010 goals to maintain a healthier lifestyle. I’ve done well so far, especially since ditching my biggest vice.
Occupation. Volunteer-work, internships, part-time jobs. Experience and pocket cash trump pessimism in my opinion. I have goals, I’m just taking baby steps to get to those goals. Until then, I’m learning what I can and saving what I can while doing what I can to speed the process.
30 Days of Chaos and Insanity
Script Frenzy has arrived! Well, come Thursday it has. I’m enthralled, as this is my very first attempt at writing an actual screenplay. To make it more chaotic, I have no idea how to format a screenplay! I feel lost and confused, wondering why I thought it’d be a good idea to participate in such a crazy event (setting aside my own crazy status, that is).
Then I remember that the past few months have reeled (no pun intended) me in to the idea of screenwriting as a possible motivator for graduate school.
I’ve always been fascinated by film and television. Visual storytelling, as many of those Quizilla-style personality tests reveal, is apparently my strongest area in writing. I tend to be a visual thinker and often can’t comprehend things until I observe them somehow.
2010′s proven a year of superiority for my skills in observation. Through obsessive engulfment in audio commentaries and behind-the-scenes features, television trivia has widened my awareness of what goes into the production of programmes. The analytical thinking best developed in my last literature class has carried into the visual world.
I don’t watch shows solely for entertainment anymore. I notice details that add to these visual stories. Details that passed overhead before. Camera angles/styles, cuts between scenes and within action. Choice in dialogue, positions of actors. Methods of exposition. They’re all more meaningful to me now that I’m educating myself in the world of screenwriting.
Careful thought and collaboration amongst many artistic fields are put into the craft of screen storytelling. The cast and crew incorporate trivial details that enrich a show through subtlety. Much of it probably only gets noticed by people like me, who relish analysing anything and everything. Including those subtleties, however, layers screen stories with realism, which in turn enables audiences to further connect with the characters.
The question is, does a sharpened awareness of behind-the-scenes crafting ruin the effects of a show? In the past, I’d probably answer “yes.” In a way, knowing the creative process makes it less believable. Answering today, I change my vote to “no.” Awareness of the process allows me to understand the genius behind such stories and appreciate the work on another level.
It goes back to the process of writing, really. On one hand, I read novels and cavil elements scattered throughout. Yet at the same time, awareness of those nuances helps me grasp what it is that truly makes me rate a book as “yay” or “nay.” Identifying what works and what doesn’t is a key factor in self-improvement. It’s really just learning from other people’s mistakes (or triumphs). ^.^
She’s No Harvey, But She Keeps Me (in)Sane
The title of this post is an inside joke for ‘Scapers and I’d take far longer than necessary to explain it to anyone else. The point is, my head plays home to several voices. But “Don’t Panic!”
because it’s not a symptom of some psychological disorder, simply another factor separating writers from the rest of society. A few weeks ago, my mind (somewhat) randomly decided that my Inner Editor’s name is Bettina. It’s nice that she has a name, though, because now I have a more personal way to yell at her when she interferes with my ability to get work done.
Some of my writer friends and I have discussed on many occasions the voices that exist in our minds. These voices are different from auditory hallucinations, however. They whisper constantly and never go away, but they’re a writer’s connexion to the unconscious mind. The source of inspiration. The bridge between the mundane of our lives and the fantastic realms we dedicate our time to creating for others. These voices are a branch in the imagination tree I mentioned last month.
And they keep me (in)sane.
Without inner voices conversing throughout my days (and my nights–they never go away, remember?), I don’t know how I’d survive more than five minutes. Bettina et. al. entertain me when I’m bored. Through them, every tiny trivial thing that crosses my path has the potential to become something great.
My favourite example of this is the way J.M. Barrie’s mind is shown in Finding Neverland. There’s a scene where Johnny Depp’s character is shown watching the Llewelyn-Davies children jump up-and-down on their beds. As Barrie/Depp observes, the children rise up and fly out the open window. This, of course, is the cinematic version of Barrie’s thought-process, illustrating how he took events from his reality and hyperbolised a way for his characters to get to Neverland. This is always the first scene that comes to mind when I think of the film because it represents the mindset of creative writers with such accuracy.
Back to Bettina et. al.–>the reason for their existence, I believe, is to help writers stay on that bridge between the conscious and unconscious. Which is probably why I can never manage to shut my mind off. You know that whole meditation thing? Yeah, all that does is allow the voices to get louder as they fight for control over who must be heard above the others. In my case, it’s either story ideas that won’t wait for me to finish my current works-in-progress, or a random song selection from the infinite music I’ve heard throughout my life, which is forever stored in the crevices of my brain.
The voices aren’t always the most intelligent, but they provide good company. As long as they stop keeping me awake at night, they’re welcome to stay.
Don’t Be Afraid To Get Your Hands Dirty
The other day, a thought came to me as I cleaned Jay’s cage: to get any job done, you must be willing to get your hands dirty. It’s unavoidable. Things don’t happen unless action takes place. You can’t find employment by sitting around doing nothing all day.

You have to get out there, fill in applications, call to check up on said applications. You have to work to get work. It’s more than just that, though. You need knowledge, experience. How do you get that? By being active. Doing something. Anything. Take action, jump at any opportunity to gain skills.
For this reason, I’m glad I’ve always had a thirst for learning. I love to keep my mind occupied with fresh ideas and new challenges. It’s through this aspect of my personality that I find myself constantly motivated to trudge on, even when things look dim.
Novels don’t get read unless their author writes down words. Any words. All words. Their quality shouldn’t matter in the rough draft (it’s called ‘draft’ for a reason, after all). It’s a process. We take ideas and we etch them out. Transfer them from mind to screen (or paper) to uncage them. From there, anything’s possible. A foundation is set and the next step is making sense of it.
Truthfully, there is no “easy street” for dreamers. Things don’t happen unless you make them happen. The world’s a confusing place unless you make the effort to survive one day at a time. Often, that means baby-steps in the mud. What’s wrong with that, though? It may be galling, it may not be what you want from life. But if you work through the challenges, you’ll come out better and stronger than the person who sailed over the mud. You’ll know what you’re capable of doing under the worst conditions, with the worst stress.
There’s a level of risk in everything, but unless we take that risk, we’ll gain nothing. The only risk we shouldn’t take is that of not taking a risk. O.o
My Mother Said WHAT?!
Whenever I go out, I tend to bring two essential things: a book and a knitting project. I like to be prepared should I ever need to occupy my time. Anyhoot, there I was in a local diner with my rellies, awaiting breakfast. Mum, seeming interested in my book (1984), interrupted a fun scene with Winston and Julia by posing a risible question:
“Do all writers read?”
O_O
Okay, I suppose to someone who doesn’t understand the craft, it’s a legit question. She was curious if ALL writers, including the “big names” already published, read to gather inspiration. Here’s what Judy Rose says about it:
“Reading the work of good authors
helps you develop a sense
of how effective writing is constructed,
and gives you a glimpse
of the skill and artistry
that goes into it.”
The quote is from her post Ten Ways to Become a Better Writer. Click the link. “Read” is first on the list, and for good reason. Reading is crucial for writers. How else are we to know what our audiences want from our own writing? What better way to improve our skills than to study what engages our own imaginations? Note style, voice, etc. All the important qualities that hook us in as readers are skills we need to practice to become better writers.
Books are a writer’s window to the world. It’s how we see, how we communicate, how we learn what works or doesn’t. Hell, it’s because of books that most of us want to be writers in the first place! So keep reading. Even if you find yourself bored by what you read, you’ve learnt how not to write.
The rest of Rose’s list is important, too. Writing is about more than just putting words to paper (or screen). Writers must always be aware of intricate details. Listen to dialogue and you’ll understand how it flows. Knowledge of language and grammar speeds up the revision process, lessening mistakes that need correction. Even then, proofreading will spot the mistakes that still slip through unconsciously.
Writing involves a lot of hard work. The end result is entertaining and enjoyable because of the dedication behind-the-scenes. Keep that in mind when you immerse yourself into anything artistic. Artists don’t have “work days.” Our brains are always on, always thinking, always moving. That’s what makes our craft simultaneously pleasing and frustrating. And often makes falling asleep troublesome.
“Investment of Character,” pt.2: the Villain
Creating a convincing villain is, in my opinion, the hardest part of writing. There are so many factors to consider: believability, motivation, and history to name a few. Lee Masterson‘s excellent article at Writing-World.com explains the importance of three-dimensional villains. “Unfortunately,” she writes, “most ‘bad guys’ are shown as being shallow, narrow-minded creatures whose only ambition is to be as evil as possible.” So how do we avoid creating flat, boring villains? Development!
A villain must display dubiety and suspence for readers to continue with the a story, wonder who will be the ultimate victor. The common factor in characterisation, then, is believability. Villains share every right for existence as their adversaries and should therefore receive the same punctilious considerations in development as any other characters. What motivates the villain toward his evil/greedy goals? Masterson points out that no one chooses to label himself as “evil.” Brainstorm the villain’s history for potential answers. Past experiences reveal much about a person’s demeanour. They may or may not end up in the actual story, but solid references aid the writing process.
The way I see it, there are essentially four types of villain:
1. Good guys turned bad.
The obvious example in this category is Darth Vader (STAR WARS). (SHHH, SPOILERS!) Once upon a time, Vader was the sweet, innocent farm boy Anakin Skywalker. He cared about the well-being of the universe and carried ambitions of becoming a Jedi Master. Long story short: he didn’t listen to his teachers, made all the wrong mistakes. Chaos ensued, people died. Ultimately, Vader’s downfall emanates from his desire to protect the people he loves. Good intentions, sour turn.
2. Bad guys turned good. Stranger things have happened. Mostly what I find from this category is that the villains “switch sides”
for the benefit of survival. The characters reach a point where cooperation is vital to their ultimate goals. Sometimes the villain evolves into a better person. Other times, once a task is accomplished, he returns to his old ways. Yet other times (the best, in my opinion), the villain’s intentions are dubious until the very end. What’s his game? Can we trust him? An infinite, cerebral dilemma on which I thrive. Focusing on the first option, I look to Bialar Crais (FARSCAPE). His first appearance implies a cold, apathetic captain who seeks revenge for his brother’s death. Simple, yes, but it drives the character to abandon all sense of regulation and leads him to redefine himself along the way. Character evolution is amazing.
3. Difference of opinion (neither good nor bad). My favourite explanation for this type is Magneto (X-MEN). Let me note now that I’m not an expert on comics and this particular analysis strictly refers to observations based on the films. From my understanding, Magneto and Professor X have a common goal: harmony for mutants. The thing that separates Magneto’s approach from Professor X’s is simply a difference of opinion.
While the Professor believes that convincing humans to accept mutant evolution will (eventually) create harmony, Magneto’s understanding is that humans never will. His conclusion is annihilation; speed the process of evolution by exterminating the unevolved. Neither solution is necessarily right (and nowhere near easy), but both characters respect their different views as they continue to pursue their own versions of what is “right.”
4. Intrinsic psychosis. There’s no hope for the poor soul who inhabits this type of villainy. Evil from conception, but unique in backstory and personal decisions. Enter Arvin Sloane (ALIAS):
terrorist, dilittante, widower, and grieving father. I’ve long admired Sloane for his ability to manipulate everyone and everything for his own sadistic self. He’s a complex man, not without a heart. His motivations, however, derive from the pure selfish quest to follow his obsession (which, technically, is power over the whole world–it’s very complicated). Sloane cares about one thing and will do whatever it takes to find it, even if he has to kill the people he claims to care about most. Psychology is key for this type. For once, motivation is unimportant; the character delivers through self-delusion. He tells himself it’s for reason A or reason B, but in the end, he’s simply psychotic.
————-
Allowing a villain to develop his own backstory adds spice, complexity, and intrigue. To earn the formidable badge as a hero’s antagonist, then, a villain must have an equal level of intelligence. Personally, I prefer villains who prove themselves smarter than the protagonist, though I like overabundant suspence and the possibility that the hero won’t win.
Going to back Abrams’ point: what are the molecules for villain, the “stuff that matters” ? Corruption, revenge, diversity, psychosis. Add a pinch of imagination, pop it in the oven and watch it explode!
Final thought: why can’t more villains be perfect/gorgeous on the outside?
Next week’s conclusion: Relationships (platonic and otherwise).
And That’s How I Survive(d)
Bullies. Peer pressure. Parents. Academics. Nagging bosses.–Stress exists in many forms. Equally various are the ways in which to deal with tough situations. I used to think my imagination was merely a mechanism that further separated me from my classmates. With several psychology classes behind me, the more logical answer is that my imagination became my shield. My method of survival relies solely on that which gives me life.
Maybe I waste too much time with my head in the clouds, refusing to grow sessile in the place we deem “reality.” The reasons aren’t as important as the efficiency. It is because of my imagination that I conquer the challenges life deals me. In elementary school, the problem was bullies and lack of confidence in myself. Being the avid reader that I am, I buried my soul in the books that fed me, pretending the problems my favourite characters faced were the same problems I had to face. One example comes from the children’s sci-fi series Animorphs. In the first book, the five main characters discover their world is being invaded by Yeerks, a parasitic alien race. It was rare to distinguish if another human was being controlled by the aliens, but one thing that helped was any unusual behaviour from the characters’ friends or family.
Where does this play into my elementary education, you ask? Well, I told myself that my bullies had no choice in their actions. They had Yeerks in their brains. I admit that confessing this sounds a bit pathetic, manifesting E.L. Doctorow’s quote that “Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia” and therefore writers merely channel the disease through a creative filter. But it worked. Besides, isn’t that the point of books? To carry us away to other worlds where characters confront difficult situations that result in changes and growth so that by the end of the book, we’ve changed as much as any of the characters involved by allowing ourselves to share said experiences.
This defence mechanism probably more deservingly fits into the thespian category, given how it utilises the traits of others. I like to think the commonality of actors and writers is the chameleon skin we wear. Honestly, what other careers exist that allow a person to literally do whatever or be whatever they could imagine (and beyond)? They’re the two “best” careers because, within them, every other occupation is achievable. I can wake up tomorrow and decide I want to be a lawyer. Do a bit of research, come up with a story, and I’m there. But I’m not stuck there if I decide next week to vacation on Coruscant, Middle Earth, or Alagaësia. Painstakingly, they’re also among the “worst” careers (what art isn’t?) because of the precarious dedication required to succeed.
I guess I’m trying to convince myself that I’ve chosen wisely in my pursuit of writing. Here I can survive because it is my oxygen, my blood. My soul.
Thoughts? Advice? Shrink recommendations?
It’s About Mystery Boxes
J.J. Abrams (creator of ALIAS & LOST, two of my favourite television programmes) will long be a positive inspiration to my writing career. About a year ago, I came across this TED video through an online community and have since returned to it several times when I need to refresh my muse:
Abrams’s talk epitomises the enjoyment his creations bring to me. Many of the world’s greatest films are more than the larger aspects we assume them to be about. The secret lies within the small, subtle concepts that–more often than not–go unnoticed.
The best example I think he gives is from E.T. When people think of it, they remember the boy who befriends the alien. But Abrams points out that their friendship isn’t the film’s theme at all. “It’s about divorce,” he states simply. “It’s about a crippled family and a kid who can’t find his way.”
(powerful!)
When I first heard Abrams say this about films I’ve seen many times before, I approached those films from a new light. His statement is true, and it makes me admire those stories with more depth and desire to include such profundity in my own writing.
Abrams also shared his opinion of his creations. They reflect what I have reiterated as the substantial reason for my addictions: the stuff that matters is the character and his relationship with the world and others in it.
I love ALIAS because of Sydney’s interactions with her friends, her co-workers, her father; her ability to balance work with school and fun. I love LOST, not from a desire to learn what the island is or why anything on the island happens (lying through my teeth, here–of course I want to know all that!); I want to understand who the characters are and see how they have changed because of the crash that brought them together.
(<–psychology geek)
“What are stories but mystery boxes?” Abrams asks the audience after explaining his own childhood mystery box. The idea that stories draw question after question, driving us to continue watching, continue reading–to find out the answers to those questions, yet also spawn more questions in return.
He emphasises how one trick of good story-telling is the information not shared in a particular moment. His example refers to a date scene: Two characters in a car. The top is closed, their conversation unheard. But that’s what creates the romantic atmosphere–the mystery of the unknown.

